Dad Humor & Ed Reformers

Compiled from BAT Posts by:  Mary Dicker 

When I was little, my dad used to tell the corniest jokes. One of my favorites was the lightbulb joke; you know, “How many ________ does it take to change a lightbulb?” Well, dealing with education reform is no joke, but some teachers answered the question: How many reformers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Here is a compilation of some their creative and spot-on replies:

  I 

•     I don't know but it only takes one to screw up education.

• ·        None. It's been privatized and a TFA alum gets to do it.

• ·         Does the act of screwing in the light bulb match any common core standards?

• ·         They wouldn't screw in a light bulb. They would go to the professionals who had trained and done it well for years and tell them to do it another way - a bad way that doesn't work - and then criticize them for the darkness and the end of civilization as we know it.

• ·         Well according to the rubric it should take one if the person teaching them has met all 4 domains in the Danielson model!

• ·         They would expect us to teach students how to do the job, without using a step ladder.

• ·         None....a light bulb is a symbol of thought. We all know there's NO thinking coming from them!!!!!

• ·         They would have to sub-contract that out and pay the "screwers" a huge vendor's fee.

• ·         They don't screw anything unless there's some way to profit.

• ·         Uh - can I get back to you on this? I need to consult the Walton's, the Koch's and the hedge fund folks who bankroll educational "reform."

• ·         Depends on if the light bulb is located in a public school, charter, or parochial school
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• ·         Is it a Pearson light bulb?

• ·         None. They will sit in the dark and blame the darkness on teachers.

• ·         Whatever the correct answer is, 25% of you are going to fail regardless. I've already set the cut score, you see...

• ·         None, they'd privatize lightbulb changing.

• ·         Obviously more than one because it would have to be a competitive undertaking, but none would even try until they figure out how to make a profit from doing it.

• ·         None. They prefer to blame teachers for the light going out in the first place.

• ·         Nobody will ever know. They're too busy screwing teachers and kids to screw light bulbs.

• ·         First they would expect a teacher to buy the lightbulb.

• ·         None because they can't agree on what strategy to try first in deciding what to do next.

• ·         None....they'll just pay Pearson to do it.

• ·         None. They just rob the tax payers to pay their corporate buddies to pretend to do it.

• ·         Just one- they stand there doing nothing and the entire state government revolves around them.

• ·         First they would get a bunch of theorists that have never actually touched a lightbulb, come up with a light that doesn't actually work in any way but puts a whole lot of money in their pockets, while getting their influential friends to believe it actually works better, then force all electricians to install them while plumbers and landscapers evaluate the electrician's ability to organize their tools.

• ·         Two: one to keep spinning the bulb counter-clockwise, and the other to put out a research report stating that the amount of light has nothing to do with what we see.

• ·         Danielson Level 1 Reformer Response: I don't understand the question. Define "screw." Level 2: One reformer to buy the light bulb, another reformer to screw it in. Level 3: Gates Foundation funding, Koch Brothers support, and ALEC legislation to reduce teacher pay and benefits to buy a billion dollars of iBulbs--that are never screwed in--from a large corporation. Level 4: One reformer governor to accuse teachers of pedophilia during his State of the State address, so they can no longer do anything but screw in light bulbs. Cheap TFA recruits and low-pay charters take over the public education system.

• ·         They would need to wait for a "standardized" light bulb to screw into the socket because one size fits all